Mr S of Deklein writes in to ask:
"Dear Mr Kong
I have been trying to engage the whole that forms the living and breathing gestalt. You know the thing that isn't tied together in a unified way. What is it called now? Reddit? No, not Reddit, the communist party? No, no, yes, that's it. The C(c)ommunity! Anyway, I've published two seminal pieces on a leading multi media platform that will fix all that but well, I don't seem to get the desired traction. Please. please, please can you help?
Love Mr S
P.S. Remind me, who is your local Viceroy again? Just wondering. S xxx"
Erm... quite. Well Mr S. I am thinking this might be a bit of a tough nut to crack so perhaps we should start at some basics.
Knowing How to Act Around Others
Compliment people. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves. However, they must be genuine compliments. That means that you pick something that you actually do appreciate about the person and make sure to say it with intention and diplomacy, not in an offhand way.
- You don't have to just praise someone's shipfits or doctrines. Try for other compliments, such as, "I always love your shitposts!" or "You seem to be glowing ISK today."
Be yourself. You probably think you can't be yourself because you have too many weird idiosyncrasies. However, most people appreciate when a person is being honest, right down to the quirks. So don't be afraid to just be yourself. People can tell when you're being genuine and often find that quality likeable.
Take time to listen. If you're always dominating the conversation, people aren't going to be around you. People like to talk about themselves, so give them a chance to do so. Ask questions, and try to let the other person talk more than you do.
- For instance, try asking open questions instead of closed questions. A closed question is one that can be answered with a "yes" or "no." On the other hand, an open question encourages discussion. For instance, instead of asking "Do you like your community?" you could ask, "What do you like about your community?"
- One way to get people talking about themselves is to ask them about their lives. Ask about their alliance, killboard, and ships. Those three things will usually get people talking
Don't brag. Nobody likes to hear about all the millions of alliances you have undermined. They'd rather get to know you as a person, so skip the bragging.
- It doesn't hurt to praise other people, though. In fact, it makes you look humble and giving.
- However, you shouldn't brush off compliments completely. When someone offers you a compliment, just say "Good Fight." or "I appreciate that." Brushing off compliments can make you seem like you are trying to be too humble, which can turn people off as well.
Hope this helps. Let us know how you get on Mr S. Next month, Mr M asks how to sail a yacht.
(with apologies to WikiHow)